Just a few more days

So we were walking to Ah Cacao this morning to get the obligatory ‘start the day coffee’, and Sarah says something about when we leave on Monday. I was like,

“Monday? What’s today?”

And she was like “Friday.”

And I was like

“Holy shit…”

It is crazy how time sneaks up on you. A whole year has passed, and now we are not only getting on the road for an incredible overland journey, but in 4 days time I will be making my way onto the Blackhawk Ranch in California to begin learning how to fly. Just to reiterate…

Holy…Shit.

I play these little guessing games about the future¬†in my head , although when I play them they don’t feel like guesses, they feel like facts.

“In a few months we will be doing this, in a year we will be doing that, and then of course we are going to have to see that…”

What actually happens is almost always different, and nowadays, almost always better. The things I stress about are never as bad as I expected, and in fact the fear of the fear is always way worse than the event itself.

I am currently nervous as hell. I alternate between extreme excitement and a hazy disbelief that this will actually happen. People don’t fly! Especially not people like me. On the rare occasions when they do it is in an airplane or gliding off a cliff. You can’t just fly, surely?

Powered Paragliding

My art at eyepudding.com

Well, you can, or rather, I can. I have these images of myself flying over some incredible things, the most imminent being lake Atitlan in Guatemala, and it seems impossible. It actually seems more impossible than before I had decided that this thing, Powered paragliding, would actually be happening.

Then that fades and my heart flutters reminding me that I have not yet been completely reduced to a jaded reflection of my youthful self and that emotion still flows through my life-damaged veins.

Life still holds so many surprises, so many adventures. It turns out I don’t know as much as I thought I did, and this world still holds many things which make the old ticker skip a beat.

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Comments

Just a few more days — 4 Comments

  1. “the fear of the fear is always way worse than the event itself” – so true! Things always seem scarier before you actually do them. I don’t really know powered paragliding entails, but I think that as long as you go up, you’re doing something right.

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