happy

Letting go of Guatemala

As many of you are aware, and I am sure an equal amount are not, we are no longer in Guatemala! I say that with a smile on my face because despite what I expected and hoped for from Guatemala, life jumped in the way again and let me know that it wasn’t going to play by my rules.

Aside from not being in Guatemala, we are not even in Central America. Our idea of travelling through Central and South America has become largely a distant memory, and although I do not doubt that we will return to that part of the world one day, for now we are heading North.

I wrote a whole post explaining how I had been wronged in Guatemala, what had been done to me, how angry I was but that I was going to try and move past it. I wrote about Yankell, my paramotor instructor, and the terrible things he had done to my engine and I, chronicling them one by one and getting angrier as my fingers tapped the keys, mashing my poor defenseless laptop as I transferred the anger from inside my head onto the computer.

It had been building in me for months this anger, and throughout our time in Guatemala it manifested as a low level tension that just would not go away. I reasoned myself through the anger and for moments would feel better about the whole thing, but inevitably I would sink back into a puddle of that awful anger which really serves no purpose.

Things got pretty heated between Yankell and I after we left Guatemala. I had to do a runner with the paramotor because I felt things were getting out of hand and that I was being overcharged unfairly.

At the opposite end of the spectrum though, is that Yankell feels he did nothing wrong and that each charge was justified and that he made no mistakes. We have differing ideas as to what kind of result should come from this situation, and those ideas have led to a number of heated exchanges between us, exchanges which have only helped build and grow the anger which has put a dampener on the last few months.

So I had written a whole post to counter some things Yankell had said about me on Facebook. I wrote about why I was right and he was wrong, I warned certain people off him and was well on my way to developing a slur campaign to tell everyone what he had done to me and what I was doing about it.

And then something changed. About 20 minutes ago actually. I was in the bathroom washing my face and it dawned on me, I was creating my own anger, I was creating an atmosphere of negativity for myself and blaming it on someone else.

It is only me who can maintain this feeling, it is only me who can grow it by continuing with what is a pointless endeavor. Wrong or right does not matter, figuring out who did what to who to lay blame only leads to more anger.

So to Yankell, I am sorry, I am sorry for the things I have done which made him angry, and if he is so inclined to offer it, I accept his apology for the things which I feel have been done to me. I wish only to resolve this thing in the most amicable way possible.

But if that is not to be, if this falls on deaf ears, then so be it, but I am done with the anger, done with the blame, and done with the past. All that has come before this is no more, we have moved on to another stage of our lives and I plan to embrace it completely.

Life is too short to spend it not being happy and I choose to be happy.

happy

16 Comments
  • Linda Grimes
    Posted at 15:24h, 01 June Reply

    Great post! It’s difficult to let go of righteous anger as we wonder “where is the justice?” But anger is harmful to our health. Letting go is a better choice.

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 21:52h, 01 June Reply

      It certainly is Linda and thank you. It is surprising just how hard it is to let go, even when you know it is the right thing to do.

  • Sarah
    Posted at 15:27h, 01 June Reply

    Hey sweety, if anyone had a valid excuse to not take the high road on this, it would be you. And yet, you do. When people behave in a way contrary to our own values, it is easy to get angry, and yet, through every step of the process you maintained your calm and continued to try and understand.When people threaten us, the basic reaction is to retaliate out of fear, and yet, you forgive and seek an amicable resolution, even if it means swallowing your pride. Keep being the exemplary human that you are!
    Sarah recently posted…This Sacred SpaceMy Profile

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 21:53h, 01 June Reply

      Thanks Jane, and I apologize for any of the undue stress this has put on you, which is probably the thing that I was most angry about. Deep breaths and we’ll get there πŸ™‚

  • billy
    Posted at 20:07h, 01 June Reply

    tyrhone,

    Sorry to hear about your misfortune, I never could understand how people can be complete jackasses and still sleep at night and convince themselves that they are the ones who are right. I don’t know what happened with your instructor, but I can tell you the best thing you can do is move on and be happy, I find it to be the best way to deal with people that will just bring you down and his punishment is not being able to hang out with you anymore. so good luck and if you makle it up to the states give me a shout.

    Billy

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 21:56h, 01 June Reply

      Billy me old mate! I was just thinking about you and wondering how things were going up there. You are right for sure, there is so much good stuff to be had it is a crime to miss it because we are focusing on the bad.

      Why focus on the people who make life harder when there are guys like you out there who make it better! I think we will likely make it up your way at some point and it would be great to fly with you again mate, maybe we can do some wing bumps πŸ™‚

      I would love to know how the flying is going for you buddy, still as nervous as me?

  • Jimmy Dau
    Posted at 01:05h, 02 June Reply

    Who knew you were capable of such maturity πŸ˜›

    Nice one mate. Sometimes things just won’t improve with anger and frustration and the sooner we move on, the sooner we can reach the next point in the cosmos.
    Jimmy Dau recently posted…Life on Inle Lake.My Profile

  • Carmel
    Posted at 03:32h, 02 June Reply

    It’s for the best that you let it go. I’ve written those kinds of posts before – in fact, my post about staying in Saigon for 2 weeks started out that same way and then I realized, nothing was really that bad. It was a sucky situation and I was pissed that despite our best efforts, we were screwed out of money and time, but we made the best of it. It was useless, 3 months later especially, to stay angry about it, so I chose to focus on the good things from those 2 weeks. Anyway, glad you’ve found some peace with it and hope you are finding a new, happier path! And if you are so inclined this summer, COME TO SEATTLE! We’ll be there by August. πŸ™‚
    Carmel recently posted…ESCAPE FROM ROTTNEST ISLANDMy Profile

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 13:16h, 03 June Reply

      Thanks Carmel, it really is hard sometimes to reconcile ones actions with what we know is the right thing to do. Thanks for the invite, we might very well take you up on it πŸ™‚

  • Rob
    Posted at 16:20h, 02 June Reply

    What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.

    Well done Tyrhone, it’s difficult turning the other cheek when you feel like exploding. But it’s powerful when you know you can actually chose to think happy rather than giving into the rage.

    Still annoyed you shaved all your beardy hair off though…
    Rob recently posted…Latest house sit in beautiful San MiguelMy Profile

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 13:18h, 03 June Reply

      I’ll grow it back! thanks for appreciating how truly zen I am capable of writing I am.

  • Kellie
    Posted at 16:43h, 02 June Reply

    “In the bathroom washing my face”, you were on the the toilet weren’t you?
    Kellie recently posted…Latest house sit in beautiful San MiguelMy Profile

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 13:19h, 03 June Reply

      Oh definitely, but I was also washing my face, I like to multi-task when on the lavatory πŸ™‚

  • Sam
    Posted at 17:13h, 04 June Reply

    Sorry to hear about that incident, but much admiration Tyrhone, for letting that go. I can relate to angrily tapping on my laptop writing out frustration-fueled emails that weren’t going to help the situation at all anyway! Just had that experience this week (good thing I didn’t actually send them). So it was refreshing to read your post; it hit home for sure.

    Wishing you many happy times ahead!

    A happy belated birthday, by the way! And you and Sarah have a friend in San Francisco if you happen to make it up this way πŸ™‚ Would be amazing to fly over the Bay Area, so many cool landscape features here πŸ™‚
    Sam recently posted…Gearing up for backpacking season!My Profile

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 08:54h, 07 June Reply

      Thanks Sam, I find as I am moving further away from the event things are definitely becoming clearer. And although I did react to some degree, I am glad I managed to stop myself when I did, now I know better for the future!

      I have no doubt we will be stopping in to see you on our way North, and this time no time limit!

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