crazy looking

All kinds of crazy

A lot of people think I am a little crazy for one reason or another, not crazy like I am going to chop you into little pieces and maybe have a taste crazy, just crazy like “He did whaaaaat now?” crazy.

I don’t think myself crazy at all, which is what they say crazy people say, so I guess in a way I am proving the point with my complete denial of crazy. It is hard to be outwardly introspectvie without coming across as a neurotic ego maniac, but fortunately part of my suggested loopiness is not really caring what people think, so I am just gonna say what I want and we’ll see what comes from it.

Just to be clear from the start, I don’t mind if people think I am a bit crazy, and I don’t mind if people think I am completely normal, I have no preference either way as to how I am perceived by others as long as I am being true to myself (and not chopping people into little bits and eating them, which would be gross). I have no complex about my peculiarities and in fact do not think that any of them on their own are all that peculiar. I just think that maybe I have managed to amass an unusually large collection of said peculiarities and that most of the time I let them run free.

No wonder I come across a bit cray cray.

crazy looking

I had an unusual upbringing which allowed me a lot of time to be introspective, and an unusual young adult life which allowed me a lot of time to be introspective in the same way Timothy Leary was introspective in the sixties. I then somehow managed to take those years of peculiar introspection, get a girlfriend and work it all into a highly unorthodox way of living. One of the benefits to what the rest of this post is all about, is that despite a number of bad things happening in my past, I 100% do not care or hold any residual sadness from those days. I have totally and completely put the past where it belongs, in the past. Sure it played a part in shaping who I am today, but it does not define me. How could it? It no longer exists.

CRAZY AIN’T EASY

Anyone who new me a few to several years ago and before would have said something like “He is such a nice guy, but so quiet and a bit of a loner”, and they would have been exactly right. I was of course also crazy back then, but I was too shy to show it. It wasn’t until I stopped caring what people thought and stopped taking life so seriously that I managed to share my brand of crazy with everyone else.

I think at this point it is a good idea just to share a little theory I have with anyone reading this. We all be crazy, some of us just hide it more than others, and others deny it more than some. The only difference between me and most, aside from dashing good looks and an ability to charm small animals, is that I wear my crazy on my sleeve.

But it ain’t easy. A lot of the time I have to make myself act and think a certain way and shape my mind into what I want it to be, less so as I get older. With every breath I try to take in reality and breath out the fictions we create for ourselves.

The way some people seek enlightenment or happiness or contentment, I seek what comes across as crazy, because I believe it leads to all those things. Do I think I am crazy? No not at all. I think I just care less than most, or at least I am trying to.

That may not sound like a great thing on the surface, wanting to care less, but I don’t mean care less about life. I mean care less about what we think life is, care less about the things we can’t change, care less about what others think and care less about the things which make us unhappy only because we give them the power to do so by caring too much.

Most of my life has been an excruciating bout of shyness and withdrawal because I cared too much about the wrong things. I was so focused on how I looked, on how I acted, on what I liked, on who I liked and on every damn word I said, that I forgot to think about me.

I forgot to focus on who I am, on what I want to say, on how I want to look, on how I want to behave, talk, feel and act so that I spent my early life on a roller coaster of insecurity. So I taught myself to be crazy.

Despite popular belief, crazy ain’t easy and it does not come of its own accord if you want to live in society, and I do want to live in society. It has cars, movies, computers, beds, fridges, canned tuna and a million other things which I want in my life. But I don’t want to care what the society which creates these amazing things thinks of me, and that is hard.

ALL KINDS OF CRAZY

Crazy of course comes in all shapes and sizes. Some people think it is crazy that I have my own flying machine that I use to soar thousands of feet in the air. I think it is crazy that people fall through holes in mountains with a bird suit on.

Crazy Paramotor

“Hola Senor, Tu es loco?”

Some people think it is crazy that I put hideous photos of myself up on the internet. I think it is crazy that it is normal for people to cover themselves up with expensive masks and clothing which hides their “imperfections” and as such their true selves from the world.

Some people think it is crazy that we sold all our shit and travel the world without thinking about what will happen if and when we get old and don’t have financial security. I think it is crazy that people actually believe there is such a thing as financial security and throw away most of their lives to make sure a small part of it at the end they might not reach doesn’t suck too much

Some people think it is crazy that we will probably not have kids and will continue to live for ourselves. I think it is crazy that people live for their kids without realizing that they are passing on the message that as a parent your life is less important than theirs, which means that they are likely to do the same with their kids, ad infinitum. So who gets to live the full life?

I think it is crazy that we judge other people without realizing that they might be right or that they might be broken, and that who gives a shit what they believe anyway. This is one form of craziness which still has a hold on me and which I am trying to break, because I believe what is crazy is caring what anyone thinks.

In my head we are all just animals who somehow figured out we exist, that that existence is limited, and then squander it anyway. Which makes us the only crazy species I know of in the universe. We are conscious beings, but just barely. The way we think is insane, the importance we give to our teensy bit of time in the vastness of eternity is insane, the way we take ourselves and our actions so seriously is insane.

If we acknowledged the briefness and counter intuitive way we live our lives and changed accordingly, we would have no wars because the idea of land ownership, religion and culture would be laughable. No famine because the idea of accumulating wealth would be ridiculous. No bullying because having an ego in your tiny lifespan and sphere of influence is completely illogical. No anger, jealousy or sorrow because it makes no sense to want to change the things and people we have no control over. We have no control over anything but ourselves.

Some people think I am crazy because I wear my personality on my sleeve, well, I am trying to but it is hard to be sane in this crazy crazy world.

let me know what you think in the comments below. Subscribe to the blog for updates to your inbox, but I warn you, things might get a little bit crazy

12 Comments
  • Rob
    Posted at 11:57h, 22 September Reply

    I think everyone on this planet is crazy including myself. Your right some people are just better at hiding it than others. I share the old shyness stuff which meant I hid my crazy for a long long time, but it feels good to not care so much about things. I still hide the weirdness when I am around people who seem to stiffen up when I start being inappropriate/odd.

    In summary you are crazy, but this is a marvellous trait in a person! Keep embracing it weirdo!
    Rob recently posted…15 weird and wonderful things Mexico has taught meMy Profile

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 15:51h, 22 September Reply

      you say the sweetest things, it’s why I used to stare at you through your bedroom window while you slept in San Miguel, that and your beard.

  • Rob
    Posted at 11:59h, 22 September Reply

    Ps you look so pretty in your picture it gave me goosebumps…
    Rob recently posted…15 weird and wonderful things Mexico has taught meMy Profile

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 15:51h, 22 September Reply

      Make me your screensaver so that I may goosebump you all day long.

  • Kim
    Posted at 12:15h, 22 September Reply

    I like all of this but especially these two paragraphs:

    Some people think it is crazy that we sold all our shit and travel the world without thinking about what will happen if and when we get old and don’t have financial security. I think it is crazy that people actually believe there is such a thing as financial security and throw away most of their lives to make sure a small part of it at the end they might not reach doesn’t suck too much

    Some people think it is crazy that we will probably not have kids and will continue to live for ourselves. I think it is crazy that people live for their kids without realizing that they are passing on the message that as a parent your life is less important than theirs, which means that they are likely to do the same with their kids, ad infinitum. So who gets to live the full life?

    YES.
    Kim recently posted…What I learned by walking the Camino de SantiagoMy Profile

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 15:55h, 22 September Reply

      thanks Kim, I know there are a multitude of people who feel the same way (in a world with so many people no one has truly unique beliefs anymore), but the numbers are small in comparison to the overwhelming majority. It will be interesting to see if “alternative thinking” becomes more popular in the near future, I think we are heading that way.

  • Wendy Horn
    Posted at 14:24h, 22 September Reply

    Tyrhone, you are crazy Like a fox…meaning you are not crazy but rather a wise, savvy and unique person. The world is better with less inhibited/more intuitive souls. Thank you for what you write and how you say it. Cheers – Wendy
    Wendy Horn recently posted…Competing Effectively in a Global EnvironmentMy Profile

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 17:02h, 22 September Reply

      Wow, muchos gracias Wendy. Thanks for the super positive comment and for being a great friend and supporter of our sometimes madcap journey :). You and Bob have definitely helped keep our sneakers sneaking in so many ways.

  • Sarah
    Posted at 14:37h, 22 September Reply

    You are the most sane of the two of us so what does that make me?! Great post sweety. You unattachment to the stupidity of the world and your ability to see through the bullshit to locate the truth is something I admire about you.
    Sarah recently posted…The Problem with House SittingMy Profile

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 17:03h, 22 September Reply

      You are crazy as a coco frio, it’s why we work. Also you forgot to mention my unkempt devil may care unusual good looks as one of the things you admire about me.

  • Charles
    Posted at 15:26h, 22 September Reply

    Ty, you’re crazy like Henry David Thoreau and you’ve found your pond, even if slightly larger than his. Thank you so much for your humor, honesty and awareness. I can identify with your web/graphics work as that is what I do. Stay true so I can live vicariously through you until I make my dash over the prison walls of grey cubicles. Charles

    • booth_1@hotmail.com
      Posted at 17:09h, 22 September Reply

      I’m not gonna lie Charles I had to look up the fellow you mentioned, and thank you very much for a great compliment, even his facial hair fills me with admiration :). When you manage to break out mate (and you’re in the right biz for on the road living so hopefully sooner rather than later?) give us a shout and we’ll go have a coke light! In the meantime keep coming back and buttering my scones!

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