It’s time to change my mindset. I have been wallowing in self pity for awhile now. It has been fading over time as I become more acquainted with my own company, but throughout the last few months it has been there in varying degrees. I have been having fewer and fewer of these poor me moments and becoming more and more annoyed at myself over the last couple weeks as I become more aware of my thought patterns and their cyclical nature.
I have realised, it is time to start appreciating the things I have, the opportunities and options, and stop looking at everything as some kind of disappointment or watered down event. I truly believe that we create our own realities, not in some spiritual the universe gives me what I need and nothing more kind of way, but that we create happiness by choosing to see things in a positive light, by looking for the silver lining and inviting happy things into our lives.
If you constantly bitch and moan and feel sorry for yourself, happy people will remove themselves from your vicinity, or in an unfortunate extreme you might bring those happy people down with you and create a cabal of disillusion where we all weep together in a self sustaining vortex of misery.
On the other hand, if you glass half full this thing called life, eventually that becomes your reality, that new norm imprints itself on your mind and becomes the facilitator through which you filter your existence. Life is so often nothing more than a point of view, and we almost always get to pick and choose our vantage point. I believe this because I have lived both sides of it. As a young fella I kept myself in negativity and lived there for a very long time, as a 30 something traveller I created a happiness around myself which begot more happiness, but I slipped there for awhile and went back to the old patterns, bleah.
As I am removing myself from the embryonic sack of negativity I have been gestating in, I am grasping more tightly at the truth which has been floating in my periphery for awhile now. I know I should be happy, right now. I don’t need to go somewhere or find something to make me happy, I am happy. I have everything I need, and then some, to be ecstatic, and so I am choosing to do exactly that.
I still want to travel and do things and have experiences of course. Just because I am happy having the life I currently find myself in, doesn’t mean I don’t want more happiness stuff from other sources. Happiness doesn’t just come in one flavour. It has a multitude of complex textures, colours and a wonderful melding of salty and sweet. So although I can choose to be happy right now, I still want to taste all the varieties still out there waiting to be discovered.
But, I can only do that if I come at this life from a different perspective, one of gratitude, awareness, open mindedness and positivity. A negative mind breeds negative outcomes, I have swum too long in the muck and mire of my own self pity. It is time to have fun. Like the Joker said, “Why so serious…”. This life can be whatever we want it to be. Time to stop taking shit so seriously and just enjoy the great stuff which keeps punching me in the head and screaming “Wake up! This shit is awesome.”.
I have no doubt I will have down moments, I am only human after all, but no more whining. I am healthy, fit, free, flying, travelling and meeting interesting new people all the time. Sure I don’t know what I want to do next, or where I want to go. Glass half empty says that is scary, glass half full says that is the most exciting thing a human being can have, the uncertainty of what kind of awesomeness comes my way next.